Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
