i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize