Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
