Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
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It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
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I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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