Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
