I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize