you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
