Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
sex in a hospital.. check
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize
