It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
