you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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