party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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