dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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