Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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