His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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