How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My ass is underappreciated
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
