I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
