How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
