dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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