Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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