So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize