when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
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I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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