I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
