You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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