She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
