there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
