Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
