So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
