I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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