her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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