No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think I just shit out all my problems.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
