Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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