I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
