So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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