Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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