Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
