btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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