do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize