If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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