i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
im holly from the hills drunk
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
