Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
