well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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