she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
