i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
