Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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