He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize