Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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