Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
