Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
