epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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