i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
