just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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