he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
