so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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