Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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