DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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