honey bunches of taint.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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