Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She's the barista slut.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
