if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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