There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
