apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
