Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
