so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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