he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
