you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
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There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
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we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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