Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
