so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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