Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
