smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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