why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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