He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
