i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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