Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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