Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
